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Resolutions That Work
by Carrie Ballone
It's been a month since many people have made their New Year's Resolutions. If you are one of them “how are you doing? If you are on track - "kudos" - keep up the good work. If you haven't done as well as you had hoped, don't quit, just start over today. The following steps may help you achieve this year's resolutions.
Be specific - Where are you now and where do you want to be? What specifically do you want to change? What does the change look like? If you don't care or can't picture a benefit to changing, you won't. For example, I will be more assertive in meetings. By being more assertive, I can demonstrate my technical expertise.
Own it - The goal must be something that matters to you. What is the cost to you, if you don't make this change? Why do you want to create the change? If it is something you think you should do or something that you feel pressure to do, more than likely, you will not be motivated to persist. For example, Being assertive will allow me to contribute to my team's objectives. I will feel better about adding value to the team.
Be positive - Write your goal(s) down in positive language. For example, instead of saying, I have to stop being such a wimp in meetings, try I will be more assertive in meetings.
Create a plan - Create an incremental plan to achieve your desired goal. Just like a Global Positioning System gives directions one step at a time, it is valuable to identify a systematic plan to change. For example, I get nervous in groups, so I will make one, concise, on-point, statement in the next meeting.
Create accountability - Set reminders in your calendar, enlist a friend to help you, hang a quote or other visible reminder of your goal. For example, In Outlook, one week prior to the meeting have a daily reminder pop-up reminding you to practice speaking aloud (you'll want to do that at home or in the car). Have a friend or relative practice with you.
Create milestones - Have achievable milestones that once you have attained them you can reward yourself. Rewards create positive associations with the new behavior you are practicing, so it is important to find a reward that will be meaningful to you. For example, after you have successfully spoken up at your meeting, reward yourself (and maybe the friend that is helping you) by doing something special.
Let go of perfectionism - If you fall short, start over. Let go of the mistake, but learn from it. For example, you didn't speak up or you mixed up your words at the meeting. Don't focus on the mistake but on the next opportunity. Let go of the negative self talk and try again.
Mark your achievement - As you successfully meet milestones, record the accomplishments in a journal. This can serve as a future reminder that you can be successful in achieving your goals.